Horse Laughs for the Kid in All of Us
(BGR) Rodeo is serious business but there is always time for a chuckle. Here is a giggle break with a horsey theme to help lighten your day!
An out-of-towner accidently drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road.
Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help.
The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.
Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger."
Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.
The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."
Murphy's Laws Governing Horses
No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
The least useful horse in you barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
A horse's misbehaviour will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
Your favourite tack always gets chewed on, and your newest blanket will get torn first.
Tack you hate will never wear out and blankets you hate cannot be destroyed.
Horses you hate cannot be sold and will out live you.
Clipper blades will become dull when your horse is half clipped.
If you approach within fifty feet of your barn in clean clothes, you will get dirty.
The number of horses you own will increase to the number of stalls in your barn.
Your barn will fall down without baling twine.
There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
You know you are a horseperson when:
-You cluck to your car when you go up a hill.
-Your horse's hair is in better condition than your own.
-You refer to your car as "my portable tack room".
-You are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the bridle shop, then you are dissapointed when you realize they mean the bridal shop.
-You have the vet's number but not your kid's pediatrician on your speed dial.
-Your spouse can track dirt into the house all they want, but God help them if they muddy up the tack room.
-Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.
-Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair all over them.
-You have to go to your friend's wedding in riding clothes because you took too long at the barn.Only horsepeople would spend hundreds of dollors on a show for a 95 cent ribbon
What do two horses in love do on the Internet?
A cowboy rode into town on Thursday,
Stayed 3 days and rode out on Thursday.
How is this possible?
Answer: His horse's name was Thursday!
Q.Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A.He thought he might get a kick out of it!
Q.What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A.One goes quick and the other goes quack!
Q: What disease do horses fear most?
A: Hay Fever!
Q: How do you tell if a horse is polite?
A: When he gets to a fence, will stop suddenly and let you go over first.
Q: Why can't horses dance?
A: Because they have 2 left feet.
Q: What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
A: Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Q: What's a horse's favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis
Q: How to make a small fortune in the horse industry ...
A: Start with a large fortune.
A horse walks up to the bar and orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender sets the drink in front of him and tells the horse, "it's o.k. buddy, you can talk to me. Why the long face?"